six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Life is so much better after having sex.
He passed out mid-signature
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
