I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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