Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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