when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
