Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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