sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
