i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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