Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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