Dual....:-)
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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