I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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