When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
the day after is always just damage control
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
