I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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