I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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