You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
