HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
