it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
