So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
