Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
