i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
