Do you still have your period?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
