At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
