I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
it's not cheating when I paid for it
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
