He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize