I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
operation have a gay friend backfired
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
