Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
