Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize