he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
