dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
