I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Naked Twister starts at high noon
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
