Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
