i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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