dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
