does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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