Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
