Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
