New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
