my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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