The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
