I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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