One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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