I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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