you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
