he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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