he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
