Pappa wants mamma naked
This girl is more easily done than said...
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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