i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
