I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Randomize