I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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