im six kinds of drunk right now
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
