I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
