guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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