I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
