just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
