I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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