oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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