Your face is a jimmy john
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
